Betrayal, Low Eros, and the Soul’s Desire
- Nina Wolf
- Oct 20
- 4 min read
Between the wound and the flame: how to transform the experience of betraying and being betrayed into a path of reconnection with the life force.
Betrayal. A word that carries ancestral weight.Its root comes from the Latin tradere — to hand over, to pass along. And perhaps that’s exactly what hurts the most: when something essential within us is given away without awareness.
The feeling of betrayal can cut across every layer of life: in love, when trust breaks; in friendships or family, when the support we expected never arrives; at work, when promises collapse; even in the body itself, when illness strikes without warning. There is also spiritual betrayal — the sense that God, the Universe, or even our own faith has abandoned us. And finally, the quietest of all: self-betrayal — when we silence ourselves, ignore our limits, or give more than we should.
At its core, every betrayal points to the same wound: the sense that our desire was left uncared for.
What is Eros, after all?
In its Greek root, Eros means desire, passion, vital impulse. For Plato, it was the soul’s movement toward beauty. For Jung, it was the relational function — that which connects us.
Eros is not only about sexuality. It is the breath that moves us to create, to dream, to fall in love with life itself. Without it, we slip into apathy — the state of “psychic walking dead” described by Clarissa Pinkola Estés.
When Eros is lost: Low Eros
There are moments when desire shrinks. It chases instant pleasure, distraction, quick consumption. It feeds us for a moment but soon hands us back to emptiness. This is what I call Low Eros: desire that seduces but does not nourish, that glitters but does not illuminate.
And here betrayal creeps in: we satisfy an impulse yet still feel something essential has been left behind.
The Soul’s Desire
But Eros can also rise. When it breaks the surface and touches essence, it transforms into Soul Desire. This desire doesn’t fragment us — it organizes us. It doesn’t consume — it expands. It ripens emotions, awakens creativity, restores meaning to life.
This is the fire that does not blind — it is the flame that illuminates.
Betrayal and Desire: two faces of the same path
We can look at betrayal and desire as two doors of the same initiation. On one side, the wound that shows us where we gave too much, or gave unconsciously. On the other, the vital impulse that longs to be seen and honored.
Here arises a reflection-oracle, in two movements:
Questions on Betrayal
Where do I feel I have been betrayed?
When have I betrayed myself?
What have I given away without being awake?
Which trust have I failed to honor?
What within me is asking to be reclaimed?
Questions on Desire
Where is my desire born — from escape or from truth?
Does it bring me closer to who I am, or does it fragment me?
To follow it — is that to honor myself or betray myself?
Does it expand me or drain me?
Is there pleasure with presence, or with guilt?
These questions do not bring instant answers. They are maps for crossing inner deserts.
La Loba: she who sings over the bones
Clarissa Pinkola Estés tells us of La Loba, the old woman who gathers forgotten bones and resurrects them with her song. She calls to us precisely in times of lost vitality, when betrayal and Low Eros seem to dominate.
Her invitation is to move beyond the Maiden psyche — the one still seeking approval — and to be reborn as the Wild Woman, who trusts instinct, embraces mystery, and walks whole.
This rebirth also asks us to face the Mother’s shadow: when care becomes excess, when nurturing becomes imprisonment, when giving too much extinguishes the creative spark.
To care is not to forget oneself. To love is not to abandon oneself. La Loba’s song is the resurrection of what was once lost in us.
Realignment Affirmations
not every desire is soul I allow myself to desire what uplifts me may my eros be creative, conscious, and aligned with my truth
And if reminders are needed:
my desires are messengers of my soul
I desire what expands me
desire with presence is prayer
Beyond the wound
Many women feel self-betrayal in moments of transition: motherhood, maturation, cycle changes. At such times, Low Eros often appears as the temptation of escape. But as Clarissa reminds us, these periods are not the end — they are invitations to rebirth.
Perhaps the truest question is this: which eros moves my desire — the one that consumes me, or the one that expands me?
✨ If this call resonates, imagine yourself in a circle of dance inspired by La Loba. Women gathered, singing over forgotten bones, returning vitality to body and soul. Because betrayal may be giving without awareness — but rebirth is choosing, once again, to sing life whole.
With Love,
Nina Wolf
Comments