The Choice to Have Children: Love, Consciousness, and Evolution

A reflection for those walking a path of self-inquiry and soul-aligned living.

The decision to have children, when made consciously, can become one of the most profound opportunities for soul growth. It invites us into a deeper experience of love — not romantic or idealized love, but a love that holds, nourishes, transforms. A love that asks for presence, surrender, and devotion.

For some, this calling is undeniable. There’s a sense deep within that parenthood is a way to expand love, to embody it more fully, to participate in the sacred mystery of life. It doesn’t come from pressure or expectation, but from an inner alignment — a soul whisper that says: “I am ready to love more, grow more, serve more.”

But for many others, the choice to have children happens from a less conscious place. It’s shaped by social norms, family expectations, or the unspoken belief that “this is just what comes next.”As if life were a checklist: school, career, relationship, house, kids. And if we don’t pause to question this rhythm, we might find ourselves living a life that doesn’t reflect our true desires.

“I need to have kids because all my friends are.”“Because now that I have a stable job, that’s the next step.”“Because this is what success looks like.”

These are familiar narratives, but they can be deceptive. They pull us away from our inner knowing. When we don’t look deeper into the why behind our choices, we risk building a life that feels misaligned, even if it looks perfect on the outside.

Children are not trophies.They’re not a cure for loneliness.They’re not milestones of success. Children are souls. They come through us, not for us — not to complete us, but to teach us, mirror us, expand us. They are portals. And through them, we’re invited to meet our shadows, heal old wounds, and step into a level of love that transforms every part of who we are.

Today, I received a message from a woman who years ago did a soul-preparation journey with me. With clarity and gentleness, she shared the decision she and her partner had made: they chose not to have children — at least not for now. It wasn’t out of fear, but out of truth. After much reflection, they realized they were not called to walk that path in this season of life. And with that clarity came a deep sense of peace.

Today, years later, their lives look completely different. Careers changed, homes changed, dreams evolved. And still, love remained — not diminished, but expressed in other beautiful and creative ways.

This is sovereignty.This is sacred choice.

Whether or not we choose to have children is not what defines a meaningful life. What matters is the source of the choice. When it’s rooted in love, awareness, and deep listening — it expands us. When it’s rooted in fear, pressure, or comparison — it can lead us further from ourselves.

So before asking,“Do I want children?”Perhaps the more honest question is:

“Why do I want children?”

And may the answer come — not from a script society handed you — but from the quiet, powerful voice of your own soul.

With much love,

Débora Marchetti

The Womb Spa, Flor da Vida

Conscious Conception Group

Book Now